Mad people

This is what some mad people did to our car! They crept round in the night and did this. This is bad and wrong.
There are an awful lot of people in the world who are as mad as balloons. Uncle Ike is one of them. (He is not the person who did this though). Uncle Ike is the one who can't drink vimto because it gives him stains on his shirt that no-one but he can see and is allergic to everything except pasties and sprouts. The other day he was caught wandering and taken into hospital. The hospital didn't know what to make of him. They think he had had a stroke. I asked my mother if she'd mentioned that she'd had a stroke and so had their sister. She replied, "I haven't, have I?" Then it transpired that a psychiatric doctor had phoned to ask her lots of questions and she told them that Ike had never had mental health problems....Ooops! Thought I'd better ring and put the record straight. They were very pleased. "So the paranoia isn't a new thing then?" Think I need to pay Uncle Ike a visit, bless him. Hopefully the inclement weather will have encouraged him to don more than just his underpants as has become his habit.
The odds of me not going crazy in my old age are not looking good.