Learning to iron

"Mum have you got any ironing?" asked Anni. Well yes, because I usually save it until my Mum comes round. "Can I do some for you?" I could hardly believe my ears!!

Imagine my surprise when Tom wandered into the kitchen and asked her to show him how to iron. You should have heard the tutorial. I never knew she was such an expert. "You have to be careful, Tom because you can iron it flat on one side and it can get creased on the other side." I also heard, "No Tom, you musn't put your arm near the steam. EVER!!! My friend burnt her whole arm doing that."

The last remark reminded my of my Aunty Eve (my Mum's older sister.) Whatever you did, Aunty Eve (pronounced Evv) knew someone who died doing it, or at least came to no good.

"Don't put coins in your mouth. Our coalman used to do that. Ended up with mouth cancer" (The word "cancer" being mouthed silently Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough fashion).

"Don't go near birds, they spread disease when they flap their wings"

"Don't hold it in when you need the toilet, it will turn to stone inside you" "Don't put your hair in your mouth. I knew a girl who did that and it wrapped round her lungs and she died"

"Don't pick your feet," (not ever addressed to me, I never did that yeuch!)"I knew someone who did that and he ended up having to have his foot amputated."

Looks as though Tom didn't take heed with the advice on not spraying the iron for fun.