Someone at work said to me "Your family are weird". I was about to defend myself when I remembered some of them eg:
Uncle Ike, who was arrested for cycling up the motorway; is allergic to everything except pastie and sprouts, but only on Sundays; can't drink Vimto because it gives him stains on his shirt no-one else can see; lives mainly in his vest and underpants; hangs his bike on two pegs on the wall of his living room. (This is all completely true and I lie not).Thinks that the manager of the local supermarket tried to run him down with a supermarket trolley...
Aunty Mary, who attended her own son's wedding in a pair of legwarmers and a headscarf (amongst other things).
Aunty Eve, who didn't speak to Mum for 6 weeks once because she waited for her at the wrong fountain in Bolton.
Dear, sweet Mum, who once reassured me that heart disease is not genital, asked me if my walls had always been "semtexed" and told my sister-in-law, when I was in labour, that I was "three quarters deleted".
It doesn't look good for me, does it? Then again, you have to excuse me, I'm only one quarter here.....
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